I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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