I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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