I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
