I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
