you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
