I think my vagina is haunted
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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