I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
