So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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