If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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