I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
