she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
