Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
