They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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