Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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