Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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