sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
