Need sex. Gaining weight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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