Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
