WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
