we're chasing vodka with high fives
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
