I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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