I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
