I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
