so explain again why im purple
no
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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