Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
