I puked a lego.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
