Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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