Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
