I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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