So drunk its hurt
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
