I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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