there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
