...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
