Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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