Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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