So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
What a dumb baby whore.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
