Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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