Nicole vs. Life
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
