Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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