Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She's the barista slut.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize