just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
