Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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