she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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