I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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