DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Randomize
