All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
