fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
