At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
