Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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