You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
