people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
