check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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