This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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