I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize