You're so nebulous sometimes
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Girls should come with a carfax report
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
