I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Acid is not a monday night drug
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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