Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just want nice things and good sex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I want is dick and wine.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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