I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
