i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
