is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
