; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
