White coat. Heels.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You are a genius and a whore.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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