just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize