that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
