I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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