I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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