I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
