You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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