how can u be prego again
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Oh god it's open bar.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
