Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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