OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
