Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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