I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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