The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
