i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
