I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
