Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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