Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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