Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
