i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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